Here I Stand I Can Do No Other
by storyteller73
Summary: Morgan waits in the wing of Hotch's grief.


**TITLE: Here I Stand, I Can Do No Other**

AUTHOR: StoryTeller73

PAIRING: Aaron Hotchner and Derek Morgan (POV)

RATING: K+

WARNING: spoiler S5 E9, pre-slash

SUBJECT: Morgan waits in the wing of Hotch's grief.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All mentioned characters of CM belong to the various creators, directors and CBS. No profit is being made from my writings it is solely for entertainment.

_To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment,_ _which excludes the ability to experience happiness ~Erich Fromm_

It is never easy to watch someone you love fall apart with grief for a love one; knowing that there's little you can do to take their pain away. But sometimes it's best to stand back and wait for them to reach out to you for the comfort and support they need to get through the heartache you know they're feeling while hoping that you are strong enough to see them through it.

When you've listened in horror to the gunshots ring through your phone; knowing without a doubt that Foyet had accomplished his most sinister task yet. That he'd taken from Hotch one of the things he held most dear to him, and would soon turn to his son if no one managed to stop him. Then you start to understand the fear that gripped the hearts of previous victims.

Even though we knew what to expect nothing prepared us or rather me for the grief that was evident in our boss as we watch him sob as he held Haley tight to his chest. But there was also joy and a sense of relief when Hotch brought out Jack safe and unharmed from his secret hiding place, all was not lost.

Here I stand at the dawn, the edge of the day  
With decisions to make and prices to pay.  
The choice is mine and mine to make  
The decisions I chose will make or break.

Taking the reigns from Hotch for the past months so that he could focus on finding Foyet was the least I could do at the time but now that chapter has closed and another about to beginning the question that nags at me is what can I do for him now. I can keep leading the team until he is ready to return, probably lend some support with taking care of Jack but while that seems all good and well it still leaves the man himself and knowing him like I do he won't think that he needs or deserves anything for himself, Hotch will focus all his attention on his son while his own needs go unattended.

Lucky for him that I'm so much like him; a stubborn bastard to the core and he knows that as well. I have devised a plan that not even the great SAC Aaron Hotchner can say no to or get out of.

Now don't get me wrong I would never take advantage of Hotch in his vulnerable state, no not at all I am just going to help him figure out how to live life after he would have lost the one he loved, I just hope he doesn't shoot me first.

I know looking at Hotch and I persons might think that we couldn't make a couple that would settle down and have a happily ever after kind of relationship that it would have to be more a hard and fast, wam, bam thank you ma'am kind of affair that just satisfies the carnal nature but they'd be wrong.

Here I stand to chose again and again.  
Do I chose to loose or do I chose win.  
One road I see will cause me pain.  
The other I see will grant me gain.

Here I stand at a crossroad, to chose this hour  
The choice I make is in my power.  
To chose the wrong or chose the right  
I will set my course, I will set my plight.

Just because we both have alpha personalities doesn't mean we don't possess beta qualities as well and can switch roles when necessary. Who better to know what an alpha wants and needs than another alpha? I am willing to be whatever Hotch needs in order to make him whole again, but more than that I am willing to offer him the kind of love and support that only someone that understands him and the job he does can. He will never have to worry about his partner/lover being lonely or that he's neglecting them because I'll be right there every step of the way with him.

I just need to convince him that I'm the one for him whether he knows it or not.

Here I stand as the evening, of life draws near  
I've tried to follow the paths found dear  
Paths of love and honor, from examples I see  
From those before me, that I strive to be.

Here I stand did I, make the right choice?  
Did I follow the loud or the still small voice?  
For I now understand, the power of love  
It's the power given by the God above.

A/N: Excerpts are from the poem "Here I Stand" by John L. Stevens.


End file.
